My Best Friend

Just Got Home 4rm Work && iiM So tired. Right Now iiM Kinda GoN Thru Sumthing Over my best Friend. iiLove Him So Much && iiKno Dat We Will Never Be ToGether Buh iiCant Help Buh Think Im The Back Of My Mind That He Belongs With Me. It Has 2 Do With Time Though BeCause Over The While We've Been Close So Many Things Have Happened. iiF Only He Knew Exactly How iiFelt... When iiAm With Him, iiKnow No One But Him... Our FriendShip Came Out Of No Where... iiDidnt Really Expect 2 Get This Close 2 Him. But iiM Glad That He Is My Best Friend, iiCan Tell Him EveryThing && iiFeel So Comfortable With Him. Just TalkN 2 Him Makes Me Happy... iiRememBer Wen No One Cud Keep Us Apart && We Were Always 2Gether. Sumtimes iiWish That iiCud Be With Him, Buh Do I Really Want 2 Deal With The Extra... iiHave To Deal With So much As The Best Friend Already BeCause iiHave 2 Hide My True FeelNz. && Though No Other FeMale Will Have What We Have It Still Irks Me As 2 Why He Would Want Another FeMale In An Intimate Way BeSides Me. But Like iiSaid Itz All With Time... Because If We Were In Last Year && SomeThing HappenD iiWudn't Care BeCause Than He Was ONLY My Best Friend, But He Has BeCome My Lover So It Tears Me Up Inside Jus The Thought Of Him BeN With Another Woman The Way He Has Been With Me.

PSMn??

Everything Was So Fine 2Day.. So Why Do iiFeel So Down... iiHate Wen iiGet Like This... iiWish iiCud Just Be Happy All The Time. iiJus Want To Be Alone Write Now With Some Paper, A Pen && My Music... && Some Bud*Lol*. Away From Stress Or Even Causing It. Jus To Clear My Mind.. Get My Thoughts Together. iiCant Function When Its So Much GoN On. No ConFusion... No Lying.. No Decieving... Jus Peace && Happiness. iiCried A Little While b4 iiStarted WriteN This.. Nothing Bad HappenD iiJust StartD To Cry. iiCouldnt Hold It Back. it Iz Very Seldom That iiCry Buh Wen iiDo Its Out Of No Where. iiUseD To Cry In The Shower So No One Would Hear Me. Than iiWud Go To Sleep After iiWrote. WriteN Helps Me Deal In So Many Ways. With Love.. Life.. My Fam.. Myself.. EveryThing. iiM Jus So Happy That iiHave Some Ppl To Talk 2 && Its Weird BeCuz iiVe Met Them On The Internet. Things Will Get Better iiKno.. But Than Another Moment Iz GoN 2 Come Where iiFeel The Way iiDo Now. iiJus Hope iiDont Feel This Way 2 Much Longer.

Him...

For The Past Few Months This Guy && iiHave BeCome iiGuess U Can Say Serious. iiM Not One For RushN InTo Things Buh iT Seems Dat I CouldnT preVent It From Eventually Happening. My Thing Iz That Our Time 2Gether Iz Our Time ToGether && Our Time Apart Iz Our Time Apart. iiiDo Tend To Fall Hard When iiDo Fall Buh iiFail To Realize Why A Person Would Imply That They Want SomeThing When They Really Arent Ready. Or MayBe It's Just Me. iiWant To Keep The Person Around But not "Scare" him Off Which iiWont Do So He Says.. But if SumThing Isnt Going My Way Than iiM Not Going To Stick With It. iiKno Itz Bad But iiCant Help It. WaitN Iz Good But What If All The WaitN Turns Out To Be Nothing. So Ill Just Be Patient && Wait For Him To Come Around. But Isnt That Depriving Myself Because Maybe Someone Will Come Along sooner Who Iz "Better" For Me. But Than There Iz That Chance Of Wondering "What If" When Years Lata I Am Not With Him But He Crosses My Mind... && iiMay Not Come Across Someone Who is "Perfect" In EVERY Way Like He Is To Me....

Umm..

Itz Been A Min Since Ive Writen On This But Ima Get Back On It... Ive Just Been GetN MySelf 2Gether && WorkN. So Whats New With Me.. Well, Nothing Much.. Same Shit Different Day. Ive Decided What I'm Going Back To School 4rm... i Want 2 Be A Teacher. iiWent To My Brothers School For A Wokshop, He Iz In 4th Grade && I Felt As If I Belinged There. Its Weird Because i Got So Happy Being There. There Iz Nothing Else Thats New... Same Ol ShaNii .... =)